Fruit on the Vine
by Lips of Frost
Summary: Tobi learns how to love. Deidara remains oblivious to everything, but not for long. A story revolving around fruit. TobiDei, Spoilers.
1. Blackberries

A bucket of fruits! Who doesn't love fruit? Careful! Reading this story with an empty stomach will only make you hungrier... for more TobiDei!

Though this fic is experimental, I hope any readers find it pleasurable to some degree. I'm still trying to understand the characters. This fic may be very messy, with possible plot holes, incorrect manga/anime references, out of character-ness, bad writing, etc. Anyways, please be fair, I haven't watched Naruto in five years. I've only just seen a few episodes recently and decided to get back into my first Naruto ship. May Tobi/Dei live on!

Also. Extreme SPOILERS. Starting NOW. Yee have been warned.

Tobi/Obito x Deidara

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. (Valid for the entire fanfiction.)

* * *

**Blackberries**

_"To Protect."  
_**.**

"We sleep here for the night."

"Here? But there are no beds here!" a tall man in a swirly, orange mask shouted, lifting his arms up and gesturing all around him. It was to provide emphasis and further prove his point. They were in a very tiny clearing, surrounded by heavy forest shrubbery, seedlings, and roots. The canopies of the massive trees completely hid the darkening sky. That didn't mean a few beams of orange and pink lights couldn't peek through the coverage, escaping from the sunset empyreans. Despite the man's dark nature and cruel habits, a little part of him secretly enjoyed the beautiful picture.

Back turned from his associate, Tobi waited for a verbal response, but never got one. Only silence. That didn't sound good. Glancing at his younger partner, the rather _childish_ man saw a very peeved expression being sent his way.

More so to uphold his act than in actual freight, Tobi squeaked, taking a few steps backwards, "Please don't look at me like that, senpai. You're scary."

The blond huffed, squaring his shoulders. It was a habit the man behind the mask noticed after spending so much time with the criminal. Every time Deidara felt complimented or very proud of himself, he would tense to achieve perfect posture. Tobi could only imagine the man's spine straightening under the heavy layer of flesh and muscle, back flexing as new emotions overwhelmed him.

There was a certain trait that bound the Uchiha to his companion. It was his ability to feel. Deidara's spirit was raw, undeterred by any obstacle, firm and passionate. Every explosion was done with intent to experience a high, to satisfy his urges. Deidara did not kill out of hatred; he stole lives for enjoyment and for self-improvement.

There was no other man or woman who could express their feelings as intently as Deidara did his. Explosions, icy stares, furrowed brows, sweaty fingers, rosy cheeks, a twitch of the lips, maniacal laughs, quickened breaths, skin brightening an angry red, yells of fury, hisses, groans, and...

Deidara left without a word.

_...silence_.

Tobi knew the bomber's leave was for a hunt: to go catch fish at any nearby river. That's what Deidara always did when they needed to camp. Even so, Tobi was forced to scream in faux horror, "Oh, no! Senpai, where are you going? Don't leave me here all alone!"

His shouts wouldn't be heard, Tobi knew. Deidara had a set tradition of ignoring the man wearing the swirly, orange mask. Despite this, Tobi could not find himself to resent the temperamental boy. Tobi, as the man with the swirly, orange mask, and as Tobi, the man behind the swirly, orange mask. Both Tobis could never hate the fiery artist.

Knowing Deidara would want him to find tinder – before the sun fully set – for a quick fire, Tobi had to contemplate. Should he fetch the firewood and dried leaves or anger Deidara once again? He leaned towards the latter, despite everything. Tobi truly yearned for Deidara's approving gaze, yet knew that as long as he was Tobi, he could not.

His stare fell on a unique bush inside the mess of green leaves and vines. Little chunks of red and black covered the leafy plant, and Tobi immediately knew what he was looking at. Blackberries. A gloved hand reached to touch a single one of the ripened fruits. These were the edible manifestations of protection, blanketed – hidden away, by a black sheet of sorrow and evil.

Tobi crouched down to his knees, staring closely at the little berry between his fingers. A cluster of baby, black bubbles bunched tightly together to form a delectable, juicy source of energy. There was, however, a tiny red spot. The one dainty portion of the blackberry was still unripe. It would be sour. The red, it reflected love. Hate could not, after all, exist without love. Soon, the red baby-berry would lose its vibrant hue. It was to be expected, as love only encouraged hate. They were one in the same.

Obito had loved Rin, he truly did. Before all of this. Now she was gone, forgotten. He could not bear the pain of her loss, so he got rid of that too. His youthful feelings for Rin had been pushed aside, and the Uchiha's hatred still continued to grow. After facing the truth, he saw what he needed to see. No longer was he the naive boy living in Konoha. No longer would he love, because having such happiness ripped away made one ache and bleed inside.

Gloved fingers trembled as Tobi ripped the berry from the stem.

Obito made the mistake of loving Rin, so then... why was he feeling so strongly for Deidara?

He picked another.

_Why_ was he even feeling?

An image of sky eyes and a barbarous grin flashed through his mind.

Tobi was not supposed to have a heart. Another was plucked off the stem. He was not supposed to feel happy. And another. He was not supposed to feel angry. Then another. He was not supposed to feel pain. One more fell into his palm. He was supposed to have an empty hole in his chest; one so large, it was impossible to even imagine him ever possessing a heart.

But he was not a foolish man. Tobi knew what was happening. He understood that he was losing control of his sensible mind. Deidara was a light, shining down into his darkness and saving him. His partner in battle, the one who believed him to be a weak simpleton, was the man he was falling for. Oh, no, Tobi took that back.

He had already fallen.

Blackberries were protection. He stared at the fruit in his palms. Blackberries were abandonment.

And the plan he had spent years and years building and perfecting, it was tumbling down too.

Deidara's beautiful voice was suddenly shouting at him, but not breaking his string of thoughts, only igniting more flames. Nothing pleasant was ever directed towards him, but that voice still tickled his insides.

"Tobi, you idiot!"

He clenched his fist, crushing the blackberries in his palm.


	2. Lemons

**Lemons**

_"Bitter Heart"  
**.**_

Tobi would continue with the Eye of the Moon plan.

Madara believed he had power over him? The fool was dead. Tobi had no intention of allowing a dead man control him. Tobi was well aware he was being used to carry out the other's dreams. But those dreams were now his dreams. It was only a matter of time before everyone would fall under his genjutsu. Only then, true peace could exist.

Deidara had been an insignificant pawn in his path to universal domination. Now he did not think he could stomach that thought. Deidara was no tool, not anymore. Those pools of icy water struck him every time, never calm or quiet. His eyes said everything. Deidara was the manifestation of thrill, rage, and fervor. Tobi wanted it, all of it.

Maybe it started soon after his prime arrival at the Akatsuki base when he was dragged kicking and screaming in outrage. Out of all the members to join, he was the only who displayed such a strong revulsion. Beads of sweat trickling down the side of his young, rounded face, small chest heaving, and a blush on his cheeks like an episode of dawn. Deidara was a beautiful creature, even then. A rogue with such exotic blue eyes, as if gems filled with wonder and sublimity. He was so young, barely an adolescent. As if age did not matter, he carried such a boldness in him, such confidence in his art.

Tobi had watched from a safe distance away, ignored as usual by the organization, save for Zetsu. Back then, Tobi felt the pull. He tried to disregard it, believed he was successful in doing so, even. This was where he failed. Never realizing it, Tobi had begun to pay a considerable amount of attention to the terrorist.

It may have started well before they were assigned as partners, while Deidara and Sasori had been paired to work together. The puppet master had clearly been sickened by the other artist's ideals. Of course when they began accepting each other, Tobi began feeling prickles of green like the spikes of a juniper bush. That was fine, he could ignore that. But the minor prickles began mutating to pokes, then jabs, and then they finally stabbed right through. The ridiculous jealousy was another hindrance to his plans, so it needed to be demolished. That was his decision; however, the resentment never did go away. At least, not until Sasori had lost his 'eternal' life.

Or perhaps it all started when Deidara had first said 'Tobi'. Or when he lost his arm. Or his elbow. Tobi could fetch his elbow from the other dimension, where Kakashi had sent it, but that was a risky move. Or maybe it started when Deidara had gone into hysterics, screaming about art and explosions. Or when he glared vehemently at Itachi, hateful words pouring out his plump lips, yet eyes betraying him and his fascination for the Sharingan. Or when Tobi ultimately accepted the overwhelming aura of the man's proud, beating heart.

Tobi now had to make a wise decision. Should he choose to embrace these feelings for Deidara, or vanquish them and continue as if they never existed? He could not let this lone, weak boy bring him down. Deidara was no tool, he was an obstacle. That was that. The bomber was a complication that needed removing.

Tobi stopped walking.

_...This ache in my chest._

These wicked, bitter thoughts, ones he should be comfortable with, they were hurting him. Tobi let things get too far.

The other Akatsuki member must have noticed his lack of movement, because a vivid, blue eye was suddenly focused on him.

Tobi was cracking, slowly, day by day. If he didn't get his act together, the plan would be foiled and Deidara would grow suspicious. It would be the beginning of the end.

Despite having such profound desires, Tobi knew he was reaching dangerous territory. To yearn for Deidara would only shroud him in more hatred. Because hope, it did not exist.

Through the single hole, he silently gazed at Deidara's soft skin and brilliant eye. As if a fairy tale, a soft breeze chose the appropriate moment to gust the golden hair with a gentle force. How could such a ruthless, obstinate mercenary exhibit such delicate beauty?

This was not enough, it never would be enough. Tobi wanted more than glimpses and occasional touches. What he craved for was to wrap an arm around those smaller shoulders, whisper words of promises he intended to keep, and run his fingers through blond strands. Just a touch, skin on skin. Sometimes Tobi would skid his toes upon the other, revelling in the brief touch, as if a sin. It was a personal transgression, but he could not find himself to care. Yet this uncaring attitude made him care. The plan would be ruined. And once again, he couldn't care less if it meant having Deidara. It was the start of a cycle. He was confused and bitter.

"What are you doing?"

Oh, that voice. Not nearly as sonorous as his own, but it was there. Tobi's dark as night, his as bright as day. The resonant tone caressed not the air, but the skies themselves. Like the velvet of clouds, he spoke with the unexpected smoothness from an irregular texture. Deidara was the personification of the wild blue yonder. He was untouchable.

Tobi didn't say anything, frowning behind his mask. Drowning in sorrow once again, it seemed. He would never have Deidara. That was – that was fine. He was fine. If only he could stop his breaths from shaking.

Deidara was an obstacle.

These feelings did not exist.

Deidara was an obstacle.

It was a mantra.

Knowing his comrade would never see it, Tobi wore a grim smile.

The arsonist had his hands on his hips, furrowing his brows together. Tobi's chest clenched when he heard him ask, "Tobi?"

It hurt because Deidara sounded worried, not just confused or annoyed. The boy wasn't supposed to care; he was making this harder for him.

This pain was different. It was not the pain of having your loved ones ripped apart from you. It wasn't from betrayal. This was the wound he would have to suffer, one that screamed at him time and time again. It will never be yours. There is no hope.

And this is when he realized his fury was stacking, stone by stone. But he was Tobi, an Uchiha destined to surpass Madara himself, so he remained calm. By shoving away the raging fire into the back of his mind, he could continue his performance. So he did,

"Ah – ha, sorry, sorry! I'm just tired and thirsty," Tobi laughed, but even to him, it sounded dry... hollow. He was no idiot, nor was Deidara. Tobi knew he was breaking, and soon, Deidara would too.

"You sure sound like it, hm," Deidara sighed, focusing his attention back on the the forest trail, "For once I agree with you, we should find a place to eat."

"Oh! I just remembered! I've been here before, senpai! There's a kind, old man who sells wonderful drinks just up ahead! They're so good it makes me dizzy!"

"We're not getting drunk, Tobi!"

The older man threw an arm over Deidara's shoulders, shaking his head, "No, no. He makes juices and flavoured milk! Boy, oh boy, I'm already getting thirstier. Hmm, unless you want some sake. It's okay if you do, senpai. Sometimes – ."

"Shut up!" Deidara shoved Tobi away from him, "And get your stupid hands off me!"

"But, senpai – ."

"I said shut up!"

Tobi found leisure in how authoritative, assertive, Deidara was towards him. It was somehow humorous, because behind that swirly, orange mask, Tobi held true power over the man. But what he loved the most was that this was the boy's essence. He could care less about who you were - in his eye, those who appreciated his art deserved his respect. Even if Deidara were to find out about his identity – and nothing got out of hand – Deidara would still look at Tobi the same way. Perhaps that was why he grew more addicted to his _senpai_ with each passing day. The mercenary treated everyone the same, no matter their strength.

One day, his confidence would get him killed.

Would Tobi watch him die, and see him escape from this Hell? Did Tobi want to meet him in the new world he would create? Or keep him here, in this loathsome place?

To protect.

The taste of blackberries lingered on his tongue.

* * *

The dark haired man sat outside on the grass, head tilted up to stare into the clear skies. Deidara's eye twitched. Tobi's right leg was stretched out, foot rocking side to side in irregular patterns. It was such a minor, miniscule, completely unimportant detail to notice, but it pissed him off! Everything about Tobi was aggravating. From the stupid, swirly, orange mask, to the pale toes slipping out of his sandals – all of it got under his skin. Pricking and prodding under his skin, like a sculptor who was using metal tools to etch in finer details.

"Would senpai teach Tobi how to make art?" he spoke, voice cracking through their silence and startling Deidara.

Tobi wanted to do something artistic? The question was so out of the blue, it shocked even him, the master of, ahem, "surprises".

Deidara wanted to see the twerp become enlightened by the allure of detonation. Or if not that extreme, maybe even simply creation and expression. It was always nice to see someone respect artistic form, whether it be explosive or not.

Did Tobi want to learn how to blow things up? Or to make sculptures? Neither one was happening, not anytime soon. If the brat ever got his hands on even a baby C1, Deidara would have to clean up whatever sticky situation Tobi would throw them in. The guy was a klutz, and that was putting it lightly. Imagine a gorilla given freedom in a ceramic shop. Just think about it for a minute. Now, add a horrendously destructive bomb into the mix. Deidara would never allow his art to be manhandled by a kid! Explosions needed to be performed with grace and not haphazardly like Tobi was bound to do.

Although Deidara kind of liked the thought of Tobi producing art, the idea was more laughable than plausible. The guy never took anything seriously, nor did he ever truly appreciate the addictive beauty art was. He'd mess up. Any clay in his hands would turn to waste; Tobi was a disappointment.

The blond smirked, thinking he'd humour the poor guy, "Maybe later."

Tobi said nothing, evoking a still silence, one that felt cold and dead. It dropped something down his gut. When did anything ever feel cold with Tobi around? The guy was a walking ball of sunshine! Something must have happened. Deidara was about to break the silence, but Tobi beat him to it,

"Okay, senpai," he said.

That was it? No yelling in gratitude or complaining with impatience? A mundane "okay"? Something was clearly wrong with Tobi today. He was quiet for a change, moody. Deidara could practically see the dark cloud hovering over Tobi's head, for crying out loud! Maybe he missed Zetsu or something.

Deidara glanced at his cloaked figure, eyeing the filled cup at his side. He hadn't even taken a sip of his drink yet. Wasn't he whining about thirst only an hour ago? The blond huffed, "I thought you said you were thirsty, hm!"

Tobi jolted, flailing his arms, "Ah! I'm so sorry senpai!"

Of course, the idiot had to dramatize everything for no reason. Deidara watched as he calmed down, hands lowering and head turned away. Tobi whispered, "The truth is..."

The truth? Deidara's eye glowed alongside his curiosity, what truth? Hell, he'd be the biggest liar – between every rogue shinobi out there – if he said he didn't want to know about the mysteries of Tobi. All of the other members in the Akatsuki had their secrets, but none hid theirs as much the man behind the swirly, orange mask did. Deidara licked his lips.

"The truth is..." Tobi had repeated, trailing off and twiddling his thumbs, "Is..."

Come on, come on, just spill it out all ready! Maybe Tobi had a hideous face and was shy, so he didn't want to lift up his mask to drink. Or maybe he was nearing his death day because of some side effect to a super rare bloodline. Maybe Tobi had amnesia. The possibilities were endless! Deidara wasn't stupid; their leader wouldn't accept anyone into the Akatsuki unless they were worthy and would provide aid. Tobi _had_ to be useful. Sure, the guy could morph underground and sometimes through trees, but Zetsu could as well. Tobi probably had some amazing jutsu that could only be used once, like the C0. But day by day, Deidara was beginning to throw away these ideas. Tobi proved to be more incompetent on every passing mission. How many times had Deidara saved his life? He'd lost count. If he wasn't there to save his sorry ass, Tobi would be a goner.

Tired of waiting for an answer, the blond edged closer to his partner, "Well? What is it?"

Tobi inhaled, then cried out, "The truth is – ! I – I! I don't like lemon juice, it's too sour! I'm so, so, sorry senpai! I knew I should have asked for water, but you wanted lemonade so I thought I would get some too!"

_That_ was bugging him? Damn it all, Deidara was really hoping for something more intelligent. Maybe Tobi really was just an idiot.

No surprise.

A bit peeved, Deidara sighed, "Sour drinks are good. They wake up your taste buds, hm."

"Gross, senpai. I like sweets," Tobi shook his head, mask jiggling, "Lemons are bitter."

Deidara would admit, there was some truth to that. The peel of the lemon was foul and tough to penetrate, the worst part of a lemon. It served as protection for the nourishing – albeit sour – juices inside. He sipped the tangy drink, gazing at the shaggy, raven locks on top of that annoying head. If something was bitter, Deidara said,

"Then add sugar."


	3. Cherries

**Cherries**

_"New Awakenings."  
_**.**

The exotic birds inhabiting the Land of Fire woke up Tobi that morning. They tweeted so loudly, their chirps could be heard through the wooden walls of the inn he was sleeping in. He sighed. While it was not necessary for him to sleep, it felt nice doing so. Tobi couldn't recall the last time he dreamed, it was always a soothing stretch of black nothing. There was no manifest or latent content for him to conjure up. This may have been for the best. The unconscious repression of ill memories was done in favour. Imagine having to relive every nightmare this Hell offered. He 'tsked', rolling his eyes under the swirly, orange mask.

He turned over, mask still plastered tightly to his face. There was Deidara, fast asleep. Both of their infamous Akatsuki robes had been stripped off: the Uchiha's folded to perfection, Deidara's thrown over a nearby chair. And while Tobi slept dressed head to toe in black, Deidara had ripped off his navy shirt and let his hair down. Those were such adorable, endearing habits.

Defined, sun-kissed limbs were sprawled across the tiny bed, with a single arm hanging loosely off the edge. Tobi gazed at the serene expression under the delicate drapes of golden strands. He was beautiful.

Tobi carefully sat up, thankful the bed did not creak with his movements. With faithful trust in his circadian rhythm, Tobi deduced it was well past dawn but still morning. It was a bit late for him to wake up. More often than not, his eyes snapped opened before daybreak. Deidara, on the other hand, loved his beauty sleep. He glanced around, running a hand through his hair. The sunlight brightened up their solemn room, but that wasn't what caught his interest.

Before moving to sit on the floor next to his senpai's bed, Tobi stretched his muscles, eye never leaving Deidara's form. The boy did not snore, but saliva trailed down the corner of his lips. Did Tobi mention how exceptionally adorable the brat was?

Deidara was what snared his thoughts, wrapping sticky cords around his mind and trapping him. Tobi had fallen victim to his own web, getting tangled all for a taste of the rueful fruit fly that had been lured and deceived. How dreadfully ironic.

That slumbering face, it warmed his very essence. Right then, in that moment, Tobi was happy. And he was – he was... smiling.

Deidara's breathing was slow and steady, a rhythm Tobi could never tire of. He did not want to possess strong feelings, especially for Deidara of all people. The man was a wild horse, one that could never be tamed.

And then when Tobi finalized his decision, Deidara had to go about suggesting something so out of this world, Tobi was left breathless. "_Add sugar." _Well, if the boy thought it was a good idea, he'd certainly try. His bitter soul needed some sweetening. With quivering hands, Tobi grasped onto a fair lock, caressing it between his fingers. But just how much sugar would he need to even out the taste?

Even when Deidara's eye opened, blinking away sleep, Tobi continued smiling. This was happening more often, the silly grins and simpers. It shouldn't be happening, but it was. Through his tiny mask hole, he stared at Deidara, not caring about the man's reaction. The boy would, with out a doubt, be unhappy waking up to see him hovering next to him. As expected, the single blue eye had widened in surprise, before confusion and anger swiped over it. Such a sight to behold, Tobi thought.

"Tobi, what are you doing?"

He was so beautiful. From the core of his guts, to the flesh on his bones. The man twirled the golden threads between his fingers, wishing he weren't wearing gloves. Tobi was no artist, but he knew Deidara was a work of art, a masterpiece.

Deidara seemed to have noticed the blond hair in Tobi's fingers, because an embarrassed blush plumed that tan skin. The boy was muttering, "You're being a freak, hm. Stop staring at me, idiot."

Beneath his swirly, orange mask, Tobi still smiled. He stood, "I'm sorry, senpai! You just looked so pretty with your hair down! Like a girl!"

Deidara was out of bed in seconds, clutching onto Tobi's shirt and pulling him down to eye-level, "What. Did. You. Say?"

Oh, a blow to his manly pride. Deidara was just too cute. Tobi poked his flushed cheek, "You're all red too! Are you wearing makeup?"

"I'll _kill_ you!"

* * *

Tobi placed a bowl of cherries on the table. It was breakfast for the two of them, which meant Tobi would have to slip off his mask to get a bite. Grabbing a cherry, Deidara waited for Tobi to do the same, tapping a foot against the floor. Neither of them were armed, rather carelessly leaving their gear and cloaks back in the bedroom. But for all Deidara knew, Tobi had weapons hiding under his shirt. Ha! As if.

After waking up to see the blockhead staring at him – God knew for how long – through a tiny hole and petting his hair, it was safe to say he was rather confused. And when he got confused, it resulted in immediate frustration.

Pearly teeth sunk into the dark flesh of the fruit, its juices oozing into his mouth. Deidara moaned in bliss. Cherries were freaking delicious! It was the only good thing about this morning. Tobi could destroy it all he wanted, but the first bite of breakfast would always lift up anyone's mood.

Deidara spit out the pit and glanced at Tobi, wondering why the man was so silent. Tobi was _still_ staring at him! It wasn't as though there was anything on his face. Deidara glared, reaching for the bowl of cherries and grabbing a handful. The brat was still soundless, watching. The arsonist knew Tobi was staring at him, even though couldn't see through that black hole, where the eye should be. And it was beyond irritating. Deidara chewed onto the cherries, expertly avoiding the fruit pits with his skilled tongue.

And that was when Tobi spoke, "Will you teach me art today, senpai?"

"No," the blond crossed his arms, wiping his mouth, "You need to feel art – which you don't."

"Please? Pretty, pretty please? With a cherry on top?" Tobi had grabbed a cherry, extending his hand out in offering.

Tobi wasn't going to give up on this, that was for sure. The idiot never did, he was stubborn – at least until he saw something shiny or 'pretty'. But Deidara would admit he was actually very pleased that Tobi was finding interest in true beauty.

It looked like Deidara was seriously considering it. Uh oh, he was going to say yes, wasn't he?

Well, damn. He was seriously going to regret this.

Deidara took in a deep breath, "Fine. But you're not wasting my clay. For now you can draw a picture."

"Can you draw pictures too?"

Tobi had sounded so curious and stupid, Deidara almost felt bad for him. He sighed, "Yes, Tobi. I can draw, hm."

"Then let's draw together!"

vvv

They had grabbed their stuff, walking out of the inn with a few more belongings than what they walked in with. Deidara had stolen several sheets of paper, a book, and writing utensils, while Tobi had snatched the cherries. Of course, as they were criminals, Deidara insisted on not paying for their stay. Tobi, however, had to be the dumbass he was and not only cover the bill, but pay a hefty tip too.

Now they were sitting in a plain field outside of the forest's treeline, artist supplies sprawled all around them. Deidara, while unhappy there would be no explosions, enjoyed these activities. He smoothed out a sheet of paper on the book he stolen, using it as a hard surface.

"Right. We can start now, hm," Deidara coughed, "But before we start drawing, I want to know what you think art is, Tobi."

Tobi laughed, "That's easy, senpai! Art is an explosion."

On any other occasion, that answer would have satisfied him, but it didn't sound right, coming out of Tobi's mouth. Deidara frowned, "But what do _you_ consider art to be? Tell me what your core believes. Actually think about it, hm."

Everyone had their own opinions about art, Deidara could accept that. But they were wrong if they didn't believe in the beauty of it being fleeting. Artists like Sasori, those who wanted their work to last forever, were foolish. Nothing lasted forever. People feared death, they feared the end. Deidara chose to embrace it, love it, cherish it.

Deidara was expecting some clueless response from Tobi, but was rather surprised when the man said, "Art is an expression of thought. Art should feel. It should breath. If I go blind, I should hear it sing. If I go deaf, the sight of it should take my breath away. I don't know if that's right, senpai. Was that the right answer?"

Woah.

Did Tobi really just say all of that, or was he dreaming? He sounded intelligent.

Lips parted, Deidara ignored how dry his mouth suddenly felt, "G-good enough. I think we can start drawing now, hm. Grab whatever you need and draw whatever you want."

Tobi reached for the paper, grabbing a black marker, "Will you be testing me, senpai?"

Deidara nodded, leaning back to stare at the sky, "Of course."

"Uwa, so scary! You're going to be tough on me aren't you?"

"Of course."

"And if I do bad – ."

"Just draw something, idiot."

Deidara could already feel a headache forming. Why had he agreed to this anyway? Both of them were behind schedule. Deidara had promised Pein they'd arrive at the main base by noon. And judging from the position of the sun in the sky, noon was around... now. He sighed. It wasn't like he cared about deadlines and what not, but the sooner he got to base, the sooner he'd have some alone time.

Around half an hour passed, with Tobi's back turned to Deidara. He ate the cherries Tobi had brought, enjoying their addictive flavour. All fruits were tasty – hell, almost all food was good. But something was scratching the back of his mind. It was that Tobi, the one who had made the effort in obtaining the crimson fruits, did not eat a single one. Did Tobi not like cherries? Skipping out on breakfast like that, wasn't he starving? No, he probably didn't eat because of his mask. It didn't matter, anyways. Deidara couldn't care less.

It was quiet. Tobi must have been pretty focused on his drawing. The kid said would end up drawing poorly drawn stick figures and a geometric sun in the corner of the paper. Still, it didn't hurt to give the boy a shot. And practice _did_ make perfect.

While understanding that one should never interrupt an artist at work, the bomber felt the need to break the silence. He spoke, voice rising in curiosity, "How are you getting along?"

Tobi froze, twisting his head over his shoulder. Deidara stared at the swirly, orange mask, waiting for a response. But he never got one. Blue eyes narrowed, "Well?"

"Um, Tobi doesn't know what to draw."

Then why didn't he just say anything? Half an hour dumped in the trash. Biting back a string of curse words for all that time wasted, Deidara breathed in deeply, "Alright, my patience is wearing thin. Draw dango, or sunflowers, or all that other shit you're constantly blabbering about. Just draw something you feel strongly about, sound easy enough?"

The blond watched as Tobi's gloved hand touched his mask; it was a thoughtful gesture. Tapping the swirly, orange mask with his finger, the black haired man muttered, "Something I feel strongly about? Hm..."

Tobi looked extremely childish doing that. In a way it was sort of, well, cute, but that only made everything about the brat all the more repulsive. Deidara was an ex-nin, a powerful, skilled artist who could destroy acres of land and its inhabitants in mere seconds. He had no interest whatsoever in 'cuteness'. Art was cool, bombs were cool, but cuteness was not! Urgh, no! Tobi was not cute. Not. Cute.

Great, now Deidara could feel his cheeks getting warm. Fucking fabulous, he was blushing.

And then Tobi's hand fell to his side and he spoke calmly, "Then I'll draw you."

Deidara's breath hitched.


	4. Peaches

**Peaches**

"Immortality."**  
.**

Tobi cringed.

"Fucking Uchihas! Damn Itachi and that pathetic clan!"

Deidara was storming down the dim halls, a few paces in front of Tobi. Said masked man did not utter a word, following his partner through the underground corridors of their base. And with each scream Deidara was shouting, Tobi felt more and more drained of energy.

"If I was only a little bit stronger, I'd finish off those mongrels for good, hm. Every last one of them. Do you know who that includes, Tobi?" Deidara didn't even wait for a reply, "I despise the Sharingan and anyone who is proud to possess that ability. Rip out their eyes and what are you left with? A weak, defenceless creature cowering behind the Uchiha name! Without their bloodline, they would be nothing!"

Tobi would have laughed if it was anyone else cursing his clan. He would have laughed – laughed with all of his might – before slicing their heads clean off. The Uchiha's wouldn't be mocked.

But this was Deidara. This was different. Tobi understood Deidara's hatred; it was something he had always understood.

The arsonist was just that, a man who found thrill in this real world. Rather than wanting to change the system, like Tobi did, the bomber embraced it. Art made Hell beautiful, in the terrorist's eyes. Deidara was a very proud man. He held far more pride than any Uchiha Tobi had come across, even Madara. And this appealed to Tobi. Deidara's strong personality was far more attractive than any shinobi with a strong arm. And this attraction was beginning to take its toll.

With each passing day, he was growing weak. Deidara was stripping him of his cold walls, ones that sheltered his soul from situations like _this_. Hearing those harsh words ooze out of Deidara's mouth so freely, passionately, it made the Uchiha want to run. To get away from the world, as fast as his feet could carry him.

If only Deidara did not hate his blood, maybe then Tobi could carelessly throw away his plan and woo him. The Eye of the Moon plan was all that mattered, for years that was what Tobi believed. It surprised him, how these... feelings could make him forget about something he'd spent his entire life perfecting.

Tobi was nothing, he was no one; Deidara was a masterpiece.

Tobi did not want to feel. Because when he did, _this_ was what came to him: all these conflicted, confused feelings clouding his judgement. And it was far too late to take a step back, because Tobi had leaped off the cliff and reached the other side. Deidara meant more to him than anything else in this world. For the first time in over a decade, Tobi did not know what to do. He was at a loss. His once collected, assured mind had been broken as his soul began attempting to rebuild itself. The hole in his chest was mending. Those brief moments with Deidara, where he felt some compassion directed his way, those were the best moments.

Hateful, destructive words continued to flow out of Deidara's mouth, each one making Tobi even more anxious. This was troubling. Tobi did not know what to do: win over Deidara, or let him die and continue with the plan. Choosing to let Deidara die would be the easy way out. If Tobi wanted to, he could do it. He could let him die. But the thought of losing his artist only nauseated him.

Tobi could easily woo the boy; it was a matter of careful steps. Courting was a human instinct that came naturally. It was the matter of Deidara's hatred for the Sharingan that would serve as an obstacle.

Hesitating, Tobi swallowed the lump in throat, "Don't you think you're overreacting?"

"You know it's true, hm."

His throat was dry.

"I don't know what I hate more, the Sharingan, or the Uchiha name."

He was shaking.

"One day I'll be the one to prove Itachi wrong. I'll show him and his dead relatives the true power of art."

What would Deidara do if he found out Tobi's true identity? Hate him even more. There was no amount of sugar that could sweeten up this cursed mind of his.

Tobi did not want a fake Deidara made from a genjutsu. This one – the real one – planted a seed into his soul and grew to be an immortal peach tree.

He hated seeing the humiliation and hurt roaring through Deidara's voice. The bomber's art was ridiculed by the Sharingan, which was a direct blow to reality. Tobi promised himself he would protect Deidara, be it from a lethal sword or painful nightmares. Behind that swirly, orange mask, his expression contorted to one of sorrow and regret. The blue-eyed boy was hurting. And he was directly at fault. Tobi was the one who requested for the infamous terrorist of Iwagakure to join the Akatsuki. It was his fault Deidara was angry, even though the boy didn't know it. But he was selfish and believed that if Deidara hadn't joined the organization, Tobi would have never met him. At least the Akatsuki helped the artist grow stronger and gave him more direct experience.

Tobi wrapped two strong arms around Deidara's smaller body, pulling him close. This was risky, but he couldn't contain himself any longer. 'Tobi' was always touch-y feel-y, but never with such sincerity. In an attempt to make up for his strange behaviour, Tobi whispered, "Deidara-senpai, you should think of happier things. Add some sugar."

Feeling the tense muscles of Deidara's back pressed against his chest, Tobi was secretly dying in bliss. Even more so when the blond chose not to yell at him, but rather say, "Ri – r – right, hm."

And that wonderful tic, that small sound he made at the end of every other one of his sentences. It gave him chills. Every sound, breathy noise, or gentle gasp Deidara made turned Tobi's legs to jelly. Who could imagine that he, the one who would one day bring the world to its knees, would give his soul to the man before him?

"Can I keep hugging you, senpai?"

Deidara suddenly pushed off of him, "No! I'm not a weak baby that needs comforting!"

Enjoying the sight of tinged cheeks, Tobi smiled, disregarding the lingering pain in his chest.

* * *

It was dinner time.

As unusual as it was for ten of the strongest mass murderers to sit down over a kotatsu table and eat like respectable citizens, it happened. Every night.

To Deidara's left, Kakuzu sat quietly, eating a bowl of rice. Pein had smartly seated Hidan and Itachi away from him, something he was extremely grateful for. Both men frustrated the bomber to insane levels. He swore if he had to hear another comment about Jashin or see another beady pair of red eyes staring at him, Deidara was going to flip tables. It was when he was surrounded by the rest of the Akatsuki, did he truly appreciate having the Tobi as his partner. Imagining Hidan, Itachi, or the money obsessed Kakuzu for a partner. Deidara grimaced. No thanks. That didn't mean the brat didn't annoy him! All he was saying was that it could have been worse.

Tobi had chosen to sit in front of him, and was currently blabbering about something or another to Zetsu.

Seeing the stupid, swirly, orange mask stuck to that even more stupid head pissed him off.

Because Tobi had grown attached to him, cared about him, and was being nice to him. Deidara did not want this sort of attention. He wanted the idiot to be a good partner on the battlefield, but keep a decent distance away elsewhere.

Deidara stared into his bowl of steaming rice, ignoring the queasy turns in his stomach. He felt sick, and it was all _his_ fault. Deidara could still feel the man's built arms wrapped around his torso, the broad chest pressed softly against his back, and still hear Tobi throw his own words right back at him.

Why did Tobi care anyways?

Oh, that's right, the brat worried about everyone. Deidara sighed.

"You're rather quiet today, Deidara," Zetsu had spoken, voice cutting through the light chatter at the table.

A single blue eye narrowed, and the arsonist glowered at the two-coloured plant, "Pass me a peach."

"I'll do it, senpai!"

Deidara's glare darkened. He did _not_ want to see Tobi right now. But then Deidara found himself staring into a pair of red eyes. A pair of beautiful, disgusting eyes that deserved to be shredded and burned to the pits off Hell. Those damned Sharingan eyes. Itachi had some nerve – if the other members weren't present, Deidara would have challenged the Uchiha tyke right then and there.

With an eye blazing and promising bloody murder to Itachi, he licked his drying lips. If anyone was going to stare at him so blatantly, they would do it in respect or admiration. Deidara ignored the hand placing a peach on his plate. Fucking Uchiha, he thought, rising to his feet. Not once breaking eye contact with his rival, Deidara excused himself, "I'm heading to bed. Thanks for the food."

Pein nodded in his direction, which was a sign of acceptance. Deidara left without another word.

vvv

The blond had lay down in his room, staring at his dark ceiling. It was made of thick stone, jagged and uneven. The entire base was created from the minerals of nearby mountains, somehow squeezed underground and carved to form a respectable hideout.

Deidara huffed.

As much as he really, really, _really_ hated to admit it, Tobi was right. Deidara had overreacted, just a little. But it wasn't like he could help it! Any time Deidara set eyes on Itachi, his blood began boiling, as if preparing to set off for the biggest explosion yet.

The door to his room opened, and Deidara could guess who it was before he even looked. There was Tobi, standing with his hands behind his back. Deidara rolled his eye.

"Go away, hm," he sighed, rolling over.

The brat didn't listen, walking into the room with loud footsteps. Deidara heard the wooden door shut, before silence filled the room. God, Tobi was so annoying. Couldn't he just leave him alone for once?

But rather than doing what Deidara wanted, Tobi had gotten even closer, at the edge of his bed. Deidara opened his mouth to start shouting in frustration, but when the touch of leather pressed against the side of his head, he snapped it shut.

Tobi was – he was...

_Like the last time._

"Are you okay, senpai?" Tobi whispered, not moving a hand. His tone had sounded so sweet, it made Deidara feel warm and want to vomit all at the same time.

With half of his face stuffed into his pillow, Deidara muttered, "What's wrong with you? You've been acting so weird lately, hm. And stop touching me."

The hand retracted immediately. Deidara frowned.

"You didn't eat much today, so I brought you the peach you wanted."

That was when Deidara's stomach grumbled, and loudly so. He grinned a toothy grin, not even the least embarrassed. Tobi did something useful, for once. Sitting up on his bed, Deidara patted the space next to him, "We'll split, hm."

"R-really?"

"I'm not repeating myself."

Tobi squealed, plopping down next to Deidara, "Oh boy, this makes me so happy, senpai! Thank you, so, so much. Here, I'll cut it and give you the bigger half. You must be starving!"

Deidara bit back a rude comment, seeing Tobi place a plate – that he was apparently carrying the whole time – on his lap. It was a wooden plate. That was a useful habit of Deidara's, to note and memorize little details of his surroundings. Maybe it was an artist thing, he didn't know. But it certainly helped him in battle, especially long-range.

The masked nin was quiet. Was this going to be a normal thing from him now? If so, Deidara didn't mind, not at all. The blond copied his silence, watching Tobi pull out a knife from under his sleeve. So the brat _did_ cloak hidden weapons. Interesting.

The blade cut through the fuzzy skin, gleaming in the dim lighting. The fruity scents hit Deidara almost immediately. A soft sound escaped him, breaking the near silence in the room. Wow. That smelled absolutely heavenly. Shit, he was starving!

Tobi had stopped cutting.

Before Deidara could admonish or question him, Tobi continued slicing, carefully and slowly. It was a smooth, clean cut, dividing the peach in nearly equal halves.

Cutting out the fact that – all pun intended – Tobi was slicing up a harmless fruit, seeing him wield a weapon was rather... mesmerizing. Deidara swallowed. The knife resembled a puukko, a very rare dagger made by blacksmiths and metalworkers worldwide. This blade in particular was rather enticing. Practically morphing with Tobi's gloves, the wooden handle was a dark colour, stained black and glossed beautifully. A thin strip of silver had been plated to circle the bottom of the handle, giving it a simple decoration.

And what the hell – Deidara was getting turned on by a freakin' knife? Sure, he had a passion for art, but knives weren't as beautiful as explosions. This was completely unreasonable. Or maybe it was the way Tobi was holding onto the knife? His index finger had extended and curled around the blade, as if it didn't give two flying fucks about getting cut or not.

Okay, these thoughts had to stop.

Deidara asked the man, "Where did you get that knife? Puukkos are hard to find around here."

He could practically hear Tobi smiling under that swirly, orange mask when he said, "Oh, I don't really know. Zetsu gave it to me. Do you want it?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"...No."

Tobi turned his body to face Deidara, laughing, "If senpai wants it, he can have it. But..."

But, what? Geez, Tobi and his games! Deidara wanted the knife. He assumed the puukko held little sentimental value, because Tobi didn't seem like the type to hold onto something for so long. If Deidara could guess, he'd say that the brat would loose interest in an object when he found a newer, prettier one. If he didn't lose it first.

"Hm, but you have to let Tobi feed you!"

Wait, what? Deidara's mouth opened in shock, "I'm not a baby, hm! How many times do I have to tell you that?"

Tobi held up the dagger to Deidara's eye level, swinging the weapon between two fingers, "I think you want this really badly, senpai. It's made from water buffalo horn, birch, and silver with a Damascus steel blade. Exquisite, no?"

That bastard! He _knew_ what he was doing! But Deidara also wanted the knife. It was a work of art, one so wonderful, it deserved to be turned into a bomb. The blond huffed, "The Akatsuki's rubbed off on you, Tobi. You're getting pretty cunning."

The scamp only dangled the knife closer to Deidara's face.

Bad move, Deidara smirked, swiping for the blade.

He blinked.

Wow.

Tobi was pretty swift.

Said man laughed in what could only be described as sheer amusement, "Oh, senpai. You were too slow."

Deidara glared, "Fine. Fine! Feed me. But cut my piece into smaller slices, hm."

At least he could still boss Tobi around. And technically, this was a win-win situation. Not only would Deidara be getting that fabulous puukko, but he'd get fed like damned _royalty_ too.

Tobi had suddenly pressed a peach slice to his lips, cutting Deidara from his thoughts. It felt weird. He felt weird. So he didn't open his mouth, staring with furrowed brows into Tobi's eye hole. If only he could see through that damned thing! How was it always so dark anyways? Did Tobi have a black slab for a face?

Deidara's eyes narrowed as Tobi began jiggling his leather-covered hand. The yellow tissue of the fruit moistened the criminal's lips, which Deidara thought felt sort of pleasant. But he pushed that thought aside.

Tobi urged him, practically singing, "Come on senpai, open up. Don't you want to break into the fruit's innocent flesh and taste it's juices oozing out onto your tongue. Doesn't that sound delicious, Deidara-senpai?"

Okay, Deidara was probably losing it. Because was it just him, or did that sound incredibly dark and evil?

He stared into Tobi's peephole.

Then a chill crawled up his spine. Deidara could _feel_ the man staring at him.

Tobi pushed the peach against his bottom lip, parting open Deidara's mouth. He whispered, voice low and almost threatening, "Senpai... You're acting like a child."

...Him? Him! Acting like a child? Was Tobi serious?

Deidara considered biting off Tobi's hand, but threw that thought aside. It wouldn't prove anything. Besides, the kid would just start yelling and shouting, which would do nothing but permanently damage his ears.

The masked man was edging toward him, now sitting so close, their knees were touching. He used a thumb, cramming it between the bomber's white teeth. Deidara's eyes widened, mind hitting a blank.

Tobi was...

He – Tobi was...

"Open up, Deidara."

Scaring him.

Deidara shuddered, finally complying and allowing Tobi to shove the fruit into his mouth. The sweet fructose hit his tongue. Shocked eyes had closed, Deidara chewing the delightful fruit in utter rapture.

Tobi had been so demanding, so frightening, for that brief minute. And it was appealing. God, if Tobi could act like that all the time, Deidara wouldn't be ashamed to have him as a partner.

Noticing Tobi's thumb was touching the corner of his mouth, Deidara turned slightly away and cracked open an eye, "Another one, hm."

As if broken from a spell, Tobi's hand jolted off Deidara's lip and went for another peach slice. Then he giggled, "Is Tobi a good boy?"

Deidara narrowed an eye, staring straight at Tobi. The man had his head down, hand hovering over the plate of peach slices, as if searching for the best one. Maybe Deidara was just over thinking this, Tobi was still an idiot.

When the mask had lifted to look at him, Deidara scowled, "Give me the puukko. A deal's a deal, hm."

Tobi shoved another peach into Deidara's mouth, "Will that make Tobi a good boy?"

"Yes," the blond snarled, not caring his mouth was full, "Now gi – ."

Deidara looked into his outstretched palm, feeling the cool touch of metal against his skin. There it was, as beautiful as ever. He grinned, swallowing down the peach slice.

"I hope you feel happy now, senpai."

* * *

A/N: Thank you so much for the lovely and considerate reviews! And also for the follows and favourites. The story will be taking a twist from this point forward, for better or for worse.


	5. Oranges

**Oranges**

_"Free Will."  
**.**_

"You will be heading to the palace of Uesugi in the Land of Iron. This is an undercover assassination, your contract being the Daimyo himself. The objective is to get in and out without revealing your identities as ninja. If there are witnesses, rid of them," Pein paused, looking down at a scroll on his desk. The man's bureau was tidy of unnecessary décor, a desk in the back - where the redhead was seated - and that was it. It was something Tobi appreciated, as he'd always loved to keep his space neat and clean. There was something about messy, unorganized, cluttered rooms that frustrated him. Deidara was annoyingly one of those unkempt sorts of people. Tobi always offered to clean up after the blond, but it wasn't for the act, it was because he felt compelled to be rid of such disarray. But what could he do? That was Deidara's personality, he thought, smirking.

Then Tobi took the opportunity to whine to Pein, "Ah, but it's so cold there. And haven't you heard the rumours? No shinobi should challenge their samurai! Not even Deidara would win against them."

"What did you say, brat?!"

"Be quiet!" their leader's entrancing eyes constricted in annoyance, "Both of you will have your chakra sealed and must act as regular civilians. Deidara will disguise himself as a mistress for the feudal lord. I will _not_ hear any complaints from you Deidara. Uesugi is expecting both of your visits. Tobi will act as the escort."

Sneaking a glance towards Deidara, Tobi had to resist the urge from chuckling. The boy looked as though he was about to gauge out Pein's powerful eyes, make a delectable dish, and spoon feed him. It was admirable seeing the boy restrain himself from lashing out. He must have already faced punishments from their "leader". Pein was not one to take disrespect of any kind. The boy must have known that. But even this should have broken Deidara's self-restraint. He was to not only act, but also dress as a girl. Pein was essentially saying Deidara resembled one. It must have been a hurtful blow to his pride.

Pein however, did not give Deidara a chance to say anything, speaking with even more authority, "I will seal your chakra. Come here."

The two obeyed. Pein had stood, first walking towards the youngest. A few hand signs later, both of them had their chakra repressed. Tobi was impressed by the jutsu; a Hyuuga would only see the patterns of a civilian: chakra channels disordered and weak. Though, he was glad to feel his Sharingan still active. It was the only part of his body where chakra still managed to slither through. This action must have been done purposefully by Pein. The Rinnegan-user must have figured "Madara" would get angry if his bloodline limit was taken away. Targeting specific areas of the body was not a difficult task to do.

"Should either of you fail, the Akatsuki will be in a dire situation. I'll repeat myself: they must not know you are ninja. Quiet, kill, out. No witnesses. You leave today. Dismissed."

Tobi was handed a scroll with the rest of their mission details, before the two Akatsuki members were kicked out of the bureau. The moment the door shut behind them, Deidara had roared in outrage. The instinctual ear piercing sound echoed throughout the cavern halls, manifesting the artist's anger. Tobi closed his eyes, hating the horrible emotions rolling off the smaller body, yet unable to deny how absolutely entrancing Deidara looked. The tips of his ears were red, hair tussled, and eyes brimming with unshed tears. There was no point in comforting Deidara because he would only see it as being babied; it wouldn't help the situation.

After several hours of enduring with Deidara's rage, Tobi had successfully calmed down his senpai. It took a lot of reassuring words and compliments on his art, but eventually he agreed to dress up. They were getting ready in Tobi's room, door shut from prying eyes. Deidara had refused to get ready himself, stating that he had no idea how girls got ready. Tobi had offered, which lead to artist making fun of him. Not that he minded of course. Tobi could look down underneath his pants to check; he was positive he would find some dangly parts that defined masculinity somewhere under there. Deidara had then said he didn't want anyone else finding out about it, so he said that just this once, Tobi could help him.

Ah, but Tobi would make certain that there would be more times than 'just this once'... plenty more. The raven gripped a brush in his hands, running it through those golden locks he loved so much. As the artist was an S-ranked missing nin, he would obviously have tussled, knotted, tangled hair. There was the occasional twig or shred of leaf Tobi had to pull out too. It was such a sweet moment, Tobi didn't ever want the tangles to go away. Trying to push away his igniting thoughts, Tobi found himself whispering hushed words to the bomber,

"Looking like a girl is a wonderful thing! But I wouldn't think I'd make a very pretty girl senpai, definitely not as much as you. I don't have long, artistic hair. It reminds me of the sun! No, that's too corny. It reminds me of... oh! Canary birdies! You like birds too, right senpai? You're just like a bird! But my hair us ugly like coal. I'm so jealous."

Deidara snarled, baring his teeth like a dog, "Shut up, Tobi."

Konan had brought an extravagant set of kimono layers and helped Deidara get dressed in them. She didn't bring the traditional dozen worn by nobility, but rather only six. That was about an hour ago. Deidara had was starting to complain about how heavy the fabric was, questioning why anyone who was sane would choose to wear this. Tobi had to agree. Clothing should be freeing and not hinder someone in battle. There were always those men and women who preferred to wear expensive, constricting clothing to flaunt. But what good was that? It was much more useful spending time training.

Deidara sighed in what must have been relief once Tobi pulled the strings of gold away from his face. He was utterly adorable. Tobi exclaimed, "Wearing so many layers for this mission is a good thing. It hides your larger muscles and chest, so it's less suspicious. Don't you think so?"

Tobi combed the smooth hair, watching Deidara grin at the discrete compliment. The soon-to-be lady grimaced, "Let's not forget how absolutely snobby royalty are, hm. If Uesugi saw me dressed in cheap fabric, he'd stick his nose up."

"So smart," Tobi gushed, putting the brush down.

Hands on his hips, he gave Deidara a once over. Now he unsure whether to laugh at the quite feminine dilemma, or ravish him right then and there. Dressed in the most lightest pinks, whites, and greens, Deidara looked ready to explode in humiliation. Mixed with the emotions so evident on the sharp, tanned face, the youth may as well have been begging to get claimed. This was... incredibly endearing. Tobi reached out and placed a gentle hand on the man's angry face,

"Will you marry me, senpai?"

Deidara smacked Tobi's hand away, growing redder by the minute, "I swear to the God I don't believe in, Tobi – ."

Tobi shook his head, letting out a 'tsk-tsk', "You need to act girly too, it's not just about the looks. Ooh, and paint your lips for that extra touch."

And then Tobi saw a sly smirk forming on Deidara's face. That was not the reaction he expected. He gulped loudly, taking a few steps backwards. The blond began edging closer to him, white, opened robe, slipping off his shoulders to reveal the green silk underneath. His eye-scope was gone, safely tucked away, and replaced with a lacy eye-patch. The ice in Deidara's visible eye was dancing in mirth, mischievousness glowing through.

Okay, Deidara was far too attractive for his own good. Did he even notice he surpassed the deities of beauty? Even under all the makeup and pink, he was just too stunning. The delicate appearance was just another type of mask, one hiding the remorseless lover of obliteration, demolition, and destruction. He was insane, hiding under a façade of splendor. And Deidara's lust for artistic death? It only pulled Tobi in. One could say that sanity was just a cover for consensus. And the ethics of this abhorrent world were nauseating. The bomber was a breath of the freshest, cleanest, most true air one could obtain. His insanity was Tobi's definition of true caliber.

Deidara pressed a hand against his chest, pushing him roughly against the wall. Tobi let him. And then the blond was leaning in closer, the grin of a maniac engraved finely into his face.

That expression was just too much for Tobi. His knees shook like jelly. It was clear as day; the bomber was unaware of what he was doing to him. Tobi let out a shaky breath, eye never leaving Deidara's.

And then a tanned hand was under his jaw, grasping his chin and rubbing against the dark material, "What about you, hm? Don't you suppose wearing that mask is a little... suspicious?"

Oh. So, that was what Deidara wanted. Tobi couldn't show him his face, not yet anyways. It was too soon. Behind that swirly, orange mask, Tobi found himself smirking. Deidara was sly. Of course, the question was not that surprising, Tobi expected it to pop up sometime before the mission started. But when did Deidara ever get this daring? Like _th__is_? Tobi's brain was too foggy to comprehend anything else, so he grabbed his senpai's wrist, "Ah... Okay."

Deidara stared up at him expectantly, eyes gleaming in anxiousness. Tobi was going to have to make his escape.

"Turn around first, senpai," he said.

The bomber frowned, but complied. Tobi waited precisely three seconds, before jolting away. He sprinted out the door, screaming and laughing, "If you follow me, everyone will see you dressed like that, senpai!"

Goodness, his legs were still shaking. And not from the run. Tobi heard Deidara shout promises of death all the way down the hall, where he chuckled to himself.

Their mission was not one Tobi had given permission for Pein to deliver, so at first it came out as a surprise. But after reading through the mission details, Tobi had decided it was acceptable and would not scold Nagato. The Uchiha grabbed the scroll from under his coat, reading through it once more:

_Deidara's alias is now Satomi, her family name is Kouen._

_The only information Uesugi is aware of is the following:_

_Satomi Kouen. Age 21. Daughter of a minor court from the Land of Earth._

_Tobi is her personal guard and long-time friend. _

_His name is Yuudai and he is trained in close combat._

_He will only let his sights off Satomi when she requests it._

_Yuudai and Satomi hold little knowledge on shinobi._

_No matter the cost, kill Uesugi._

Now, this sounded rather simple, but it was far more complicated. If the Land of Iron were to feel threatened by shinobi, they would begin an investigation and tensions between nations would increase. Several nations would inconspicuously increase defences. It would be bothersome, especially for his project.

Fighting without the use of chakra did not frighten him, but he was worried for Deidara. The man's taijutsu was exceptional, but not enough to fight against several skilled samurai, should it need be. Tobi's role as a body guard wouldn't be so fake, it seemed.

He disappeared into another room, where he knew his costume was hung. Tobi was not afraid of anyone watching him, he could scan the perimeters around the room with the remaining chakra in his eyes. And Zetsu already knew the truth, so if he was sneaking around, it was no problem.

On the floor, there were various plates of dark armour and black materials. Stripping out of his Akatsuki robes, Tobi dressed into a form-fitting body suit made of sheep's wool. The Land of Iron would be freezing. While his immunity to the elements were tough, the blizzards there would still prove to be somewhat of a mild annoyance.

On top of the hugging fabric, Tobi slipped on and tied a pair of hakama tightly around his waist. Printed, golden hexagons decorated the bottom hems, trailing up to the length of his knees. He did not care about the rest of the details.

Deidara's life was at risk, Tobi could sense it. This mission would not go as planned, that was certain. The structure of it was weak in itself, as if it was begging to fail. Surely the people of Iron Country would recognize signs of trespassers: secretive, little background information, sudden notice, just to name a few. Then again, humans were foolish.

It would be an intriguing experience, but he'd be damned if he let some worthless samurai lay an offending hand on Deidara. Tobi would let Uesugi touch Deidara to an extent, until he got comfortable enough for Deidara to plunge his heart with a knife. If the pig dared to do anything inappropriate, he'd die. Tobi would not let things get too far and out of hand.

Fastening on the dark chest plate, single shoulder guard, and a grey sash around his waist, Tobi breathed in. He'd need to cover his mask, since taking it off was a definite no. Rather pathetically, he'd grown attached to the orange thing, so replacing it was improbable. Getting rid of it completely was inconceivable. No one should see his face. A black covering made of stretchy fabric sitting on the ground, next to his feet. Tobi picked it up, giving it a once over. There were no eye-holes. Tobi slipped it on top, so it stuck to his own swirly mask. The fabric clung so tightly to the orange clay, it was practically a second skin. He cut a small slit where his eye hole was, letting the pressure on the fabric stretch it open to just the perfect size. If Tobi were to look in a mirror, he was certain he'd still see the bumpy slopes from the swirls under the black fabric.

Gloved hands picked up the sheathed katana laying on the floor, tucking it into his sash. Tobi knew that when he went back to see Deidara, he would have to amp up his 'blockhead' act. This costume made him look threatening, so he'd have to ensure the blond was reminded of Tobi's idiotic attitude.

Slipping a pair of brown sandals and armband, Tobi burst out of the room.

He ran back down the halls, turned a corner, and was not surprised when he saw Kisami standing there with his arms crossed. Tobi twirled, ignoring the raised brow, "How do I look? Cool, no? I feel like a warrior! I bet I scared you, haha!"

Shark teeth revealed themselves when Kisami grinned, "Sure. You look wonderful, Tobi."

"Duh," Tobi waved, skipping down the halls back to Deidara.

•

"I don't know why _you_ get to dress like a strong mercenary," Deidara huffed, crossing his arms.

"It's because I'm not short like you," Tobi patted him on the back, "Kouen-sama, you're not a very polite lady."

Asshole. You're an asshole, Tobi, Deidara thought. He let out a strangled hiss, "I fucking dare you to say that ag – ! ...Nevermind."

He suddenly stopped, pausing to think. His height was a touchy subject to bring up. Damned right Tobi deserved a bomb up his ass, too bad both of their chakra's were sealed. This time the idiot was lucky. Deidara could always strangle him, like last time after the battle with the silver-haired Sharingan-user. And speaking of strangulation and explosives, Pein needed several of them. Why couldn't Konan take this role? Wasn't it more, you know, sensible? Deidara told himself she probably had other assignments, because if he continued thinking like this, he'd lose his cool.

Then he sighed.

Right. Right. Deidara had to act in character now. This mission would be the end of him! At least – and this made it all the better – Itachi also had to disguise himself once. Though not just as a female, but a waste of a whore to top it off. If Itachi suffered through this, then so could he. Deidara was more strong-willed than that manifestation of shame. This knowledge was the only thing keeping him Uchihas.

They were nearing the border, riding in a carriage that was very warm and cozy. If Deidara screwed up his role before he got close enough to the feudal lord, the entire mission would be a bust. And the coachman could probably hear them the entire time. Wonderful.

He exhaled out, raising his voice by several octaves and keeping it breathy, "Please forgive me, Yuudai-san."

Tobi nodded, whispering, "You sound like a girl, senpai."

"Well, you don't sound like a trained guard, hm," Deidara frowned, "Try to deepen your voice a little, stop calling me senpai, and be mysterious. Don't screw up, hm."

The kid remained silent for a while, fidgeting with his katana. In the meanwhile, Deidara pulled out the puukko Tobi had given him a few days earlier. The blade glinted in his hands. It was beautiful. He could hide the knife in his kimono. If Uesugi caught it and asked why he was carrying a weapon, Deidara would brush it off and say it was in case someone attempted assault and "Yuudai" wasn't there.

Opening his right palm, Deidara frowned at this sight of his closed, practically invisible mouth. The seal Pein had used made the both pairs of lips stitch tightly shut together. Memories of all the wonder battles he had flashed through his mind. These two hands of his were his babies! Deidara wanted to stuff a bomb down the bastards throat for shutting away his chakra and taking his abilities to make true art! The seal wasn't one that could break at will, Pein would have to do it himself. It was like being trapped in a cage, pining to get out but having all the struggles end up being futile. Damn the rules, Deidara was going to destroy the Akatsuki base when he got back! The sooner this mission was over, the better.

Realizing he needed to calm down, Deidara gazed at his partner. To him, it felt as if Tobi was a stranger. Without his swirly, orange mask, the man looked alien. And the armour he was wearing didn't suit him, the Akatsuki cloak did. That being said, Tobi pulled off black pretty good. Deidara's cheeks stained a bright hue – mostly in shame and anger, mind you – when he noticed his stare lingered on the man's arms for four seconds longer than necessary. The material clung tighter than his old sweater, unnecessarily making the toned muscles more prominent. Fuck, how come Deidara never noticed how built Tobi was? It was such a... such an eye sore!

Then he spoke, and Deidara could have fainted,

"Understood, Kouen-sama. I will do my best to please you, " Tobi sat straighter, squaring his shoulders and lifting his chin.

Holy shit.

That voice.

Deidara stared wide-eyed at Tobi. Then he gracefully sputtered, "W-wh-wha..."

With a smile practically shining through his black mask, the armoured man gave Deidara a thumbs up. The man lowered his voice by dozens of notches! And he made it sound so, so... so natural! If Deidara wasn't aware of the truth, he really would have thought this baritone was his real voice! Who knew Tobi was so good at voice acting?

And then Tobi deflated, slouching once more and talking as stupidly as he usually did, "How was that?! Amazing, right?!"

Deidara looked at his sealed, clammy palms, "It was fine, hm."

That was such a lie, it was more than fine. Because sweet clay it sounded like the wonderful, addictive, lucid white-noise that disoriented his opponents after a devastating explosion. Simply put, it soothed his nerves. Not that Tobi would ever know Deidara was thinking such horrifying thoughts. He even added,

"I like that fake voice more than your shrill screams and girlish squeals anyways, hm."

"What a shame. It's disappointing knowing you think that way," Tobi commented. His standard, everyday sarcasm slipped out, despite dropping his tone. Tongue still sonorous, he continued, "Just so you're aware, I am trying to imitate Kakuzu and Zetsu, my lady."

If he was going for Black Zetsu, Tobi was totally off. This entire thing was sort of weird; it was like hearing a completely different person. Only traces of Tobi's personality would occasionally spill out. Deidara ignored the unfamiliar shiver running down his back, gnawing at his lip in distress, "Keep it up, hm."

An hour or so passed, morning reaching its limit. The temperature was noticeably colder inside the carriage, if the snow outside the windows didn't say anything. Beautiful spirals of frost clung to the corners of the thin glass plate. They had reached the Land of Iron.

Moving through the gates of the small village proved to be rather difficult, the samurai defending the doors questioning them mercilessly. Lucky for the disguised criminals, however, the guards were eventually fooled by "Satomi's" charm and let them through. Deidara had to give himself a pat on the back for that one.

* * *

Deidara had been escorted into the Daimyo's palace court, through various halls, and into a guest room. Tobi had followed, saying nothing.

He was busy observing his surroundings, counting the soldiers in each room, scrutinizing their routines. The rooms were filled with samurai, servants, and nobles alike. There was an armed soldier behind him and one in front, leading the Akatsuki members to their ruler. Deidara had kept his temper in check, which astonished him. He'd do well not to underestimate the younger man from now on.

"Wait outside," a soldier had said gruffly behind him. Deidara cast him a glance, before returning his attention back to front. They were now about to take a seat inside of a clean room with minimal furniture. A bonsai stood near the opposite shojo screen from his position. It was the first plant life Tobi had seen in the frozen lands, excluding pines.

He could now speak as a man carrying intelligence without raising any suspicion. This was a nice change. Tobi turned to the samurai, "I follow orders from no one but Lady Kouen."

"I wish for him to stay, at least for the time being," Deidara breathed, "I apologize if it serves as a hindrance to you."

After a few moments of hesitance, the few soldiers nodded curtly, leaving with a sharp turn on their heel. Tobi, Deidara, and two servants were now the only persons occupying the room. One of the ladies bowed her head to the blond, hair dishevelled and eyes tired.

She voiced, "Lord Uesugi will arrive shortly. Would you enjoy some tea?"

Deidara smiled, one so sickeningly sweet, "No, thank you."

That was when Tobi realized Deidara's mouths on his hands were exposed. Thankfully they were sealed closed, only marks resembling scars running across them. Both hands were rough, calloused, and his fingers were scarred. Some of the flesh was burned from previous missions and unstable experiments. They were not the hands of a noble woman, they were the incredibly appealing ones of an explosive specialist. As much as Tobi found Deidara's palms to be the most enticing pair of things in world, he knew they would be the cause of this mission's failure. Uesugi would notice all of it, unless he was a complete blockhead.

Something disturbing settled in the pit of his stomach. Tobi knew they were not in any important village, only a minor one. It held average political power in the Land of Iron; however, their lack of safety measures were pathetic. Either Pein did an excellent job with the admission, Deidara and him were falling into a trap, or these samurai were naive fools with a pitiful security system.

The Uchiha would not be idiotic enough to just assume these famed warriors didn't question 'Yuudai' and 'Kouen Satomi' even the slightest; better safe than sorry, as they say. Not that Tobi felt threatened by the samurai and their dull swords. It would be a hindrance, nothing less and nothing more.

These samurai could not follow their own free will, forever trapped by the honour of serving their lord. Even if they did sense something fishy, they could not act on it before informing their ruler. Tobi despised them because of this. These samurai held more strength and skill than their lords, the fat men who did nothing but drink sake and eat off a silver platter. Such strong warriors bowing down to the pigs of their nation, it was shameful. Humans differed from animals because they were given the ability to choose. Animals did what they had to do to survive; humans were given the ability to reason and an excellent conscience. Why not use it? Hogs, pigs, and asses, they were everywhere he looked.

Tobi let out a soft breath. Should Lord Uesugi display signs of suspense, than he'd encourage Deidara to kill him sooner. But, if Uesugi remained oblivious to Deidara's true intentions, then the assassination could be done quietly. From the looks of things, he'd have to use Kamui at some point or another. Nonetheless, the mission would get done, he'd make sure of it.

This world's hierarchy would be its downfall.

A true leader did not throw commands and expect his soldiers to follow blindly. A true leader morphed and meddled with their thoughts, changing their false beliefs to ones that abided by his rules. That way those warriors following weren't dragged out with a chain tied to their wrists, they took the willing steps themselves. Unlike those blokes who used status and money to attract followers, Tobi won over his soldiers by showing them reality, Hell.

That was when the lord entered. The shouji door snapped open to reveal a man dressed in plum robes.

Behind the mask, a pair of eyes flashed red.

* * *

I'd like to apologize for the very late update! It will most likely happen again, as I'm participating in a lot of activities outside of school. Air cadets and work are my priorities for now. I was going to have this take place in the Land of Water, but it's not as mysterious as the Land of Iron. I would also like to apologize for Uesugi. He'll be an extra character thrown in to keep the plot going. I'll find a way to get rid of him a.s.a.p. Good day!


End file.
